How To Ease Mum's Daily Anxiety

I completely get the feeling of not having enough time in the day to get things done, but equally, I know the mental state of not have the motivation or energy to do any of the things which need doing as well. It's tough when you are caught in between those states. Recognising that there is so much to do, but perhaps being too lethergic or else too anxious about leaving the house to do any of them. You may be like me and find yourself suddenly bursting into action for an hour or a day or a week, before collapsing back into a supine postion on the sofa without any desire to go on.

I get it. It's tough having to make a million tiny decisions everyday. It's mentally draining; and unless you are experiencing it too and doing it, peole may think that being a SAHM or WAHM is just sitting around filing your nails and eating chocolate biscuits. They don't recognise the mental pressure we can feel under to get things right - for our family, our selves, our home, our wellbeing.

We have so much responsbility from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep (not to mention all night too if the kiddies wake up and need us); it can be overwhelming if we stop and think about it.

But we must recognise this pressure and allow ourselves the time to stop. And then we need to be organised and on top of our days so that we feel in control and therefore less likely to feel the need to 'hide' in a Netflix boxset for a few weeks before feeling even more depressed when our TV escape come to an end!

So first off, recognise everything you have to do each day or week. Write a list if it helps. You can give it an over-arching title such as Kids - Food - Cleaning etc or detail it if you prefer such as

Kids: lunches, clothes washing, clubs

Food: dinner ideas, shopping, clear out fridge

Cleaning: bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms.

Then create a general schedule for each week. If you have pre-school children this may need to work around nap times, or nursery hours. If the kids are at school this may work around your work hours or school drop offs. You need to include in your plan all the elements of your above lists.

For example, this is my Monday List.

Monday: Lally to creche for an hour. Food shop online during this time. Home and clear out fridge. Workout while she naps. Lunch. Make it Shine Monday. School pick up. Calm Play. Solo play. Dinner. Bath/Bedtime for kids. Time with husband.

If it helps, colour code it. For example one colour for family, another for yourself, another for the kids, another for the home jobs etc.

Of course elements can change but to keep me feeling calm and my anxiety down, this type of overarching weekly list helps me know what I am doing and when and this in turn makes me feel safe. This is crucial to my mental health and I know many others who prefer routine to absolute freedom. Of course in theory I have absolute freedom in the day. I don't have work to go to or anywhere I HAVE to be apart from taking my son to school...but having lived with that mindset for many years and witnessing my mental health bounce between highs and lows like a yoyo, I recoginsed I needed the safety of a routine.

From there I can step out of my comfort zone and do other things as and when needed, but these kinds of daily lists give me the security of being abe to live (mostly) free of anxiety and panic. I used to reply on people to make me feel safe but when it's just me and Lally in the day, who can I rely on? Me and only me...so I had to find a way forward and this is it.

The CALM MUMMY METHOD is such a turning point for me and truly changed things mentally and emotionally. It gives me structure during a time where I have very little and it is this structure which helps me to feel happy and settled even when cleaning or changing beds! It's a game changer and I highly recommend it to anyone who finds a lack of structure a challenge. Create your own and see how it helps you and let me know.

Join the CALM MUMMY METHOD on Instagram @the_calm_mummy_method and get daily reminders of what to do each day or have a look through the site for inspiration for other elements of the method including CALM COOKING, CALM PLAY and CALM CLOTHES.